Chatty Man

Many words have been written about the current and ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. I’ve even written a couple of pieces myself. The phrase ‘du jour’, ‘in these unprecedented times’ has fallen too easily and too readily from our lips.

The coronavirus lockdown presented many of us with more time on our hands than we’ve had since ‘Betwixtmas’, those odd days between Christmas and New Year, multiplied by ten, plus a bit more. My ever expanding waistline bears testament to that (and not a soggy sprout in sight – there’s a silver lining)!

Like so many of us, my garden has been my sanctuary during these difficult times. My place of normality amid madness, my haven away from the horrifying statistics. Not a weed left to be weeded, not a blade of grass bent out of shape.

Just ahead of lockdown, idling time on Instagram, I watched two young lads from the last ‘Great British Bake Off’ ‘go live’ and prepare a dish in front of 300 plus ‘viewers’. It was both awkward and hilarious at times but I found myself completely captivated and unable to turn off the ‘Insta-feed’ (I think that’s what the young ‘uns call it). Having a virtual nosey around these young guys’ kitchens was utterly absorbing. Subconsciously, I filed a virtual post-it note into the old grey matter with the words ‘ I CAN DO THAT’ written in capitals across it.

On 27th March 2020, four days of lockdown under my (already tightening) belt, I too found myself pressing the Instagram ‘LIVE’ button in my back garden. I waffled aimlessly for a good five minutes in front of a handful of people who had clearly stumbled unknowingly across this ‘unfolding’ event. With a ‘captive’ audience (of FOUR people) I warmed to my theme. I showed off my weed-free borders, my newly mown lawn (following the first cut of the season) and crowed on endlessly about my trays of tender seedlings in the greenhouse. And I wasn’t finished. I wittered on about the newly erected fencing, the colour of the paint I had used, what my plans were for this area. Spring had literally only just sprung and in all honesty there was little to be seen in my garden. At the end of this 20 minute ‘tour’, numbers had shot up to ELEVEN! Flushed with success I was hungry for more. And, as happy as I was that eleven people had tuned in, I really wanted a few more. Already, my brief moment in the spotlight turning me into a monster!

I took to social media and ‘promoted’ my next ‘Weekly Wander’.

I took to social media to promote my Instagram ‘Weekly Wander’

Week two saw my viewing figures double. Questions were asked of me on the Insta-feed (look at me mastering the lingo), lovely comments were added and advice sought. I loved this!

Over the following weeks the upward viewing trend continued. Clearly, I’m not talking millions, thousands or even hundreds; Monty Don need not reach for the ‘situations vacant’ column just yet! However, many people from across the country and indeed across the world (well, America, Canada, Belgium and the Isle of Wight) tuned in. Some even taking the time to contact me via social media to thank me, and others claiming they looked forward to my ‘weekly wanders’. More questions came my way, about my garden, their gardens, my plants and their plants. I REALLY loved this!

By week six, numbers still rising, I needed to shake the format up a little. During one of my previous weekly tours, the annual plague of locusts, (well, lily beetle and molluscs) that descend upon our gardens was discussed. A wildlife friendly spray deterrent was endorsed by many of my ‘followers’ (that’s what Instagram calls people who ‘follow’ someone; it sounds a bit ‘fans of Britney Spears’ to me, but then that’s me turning into my dad, I guess). Buoyed up with my newly found ‘Insta-fame'(!), I contacted the management of Grazers, the company selling the aforementioned pest deterrent. They were ‘happy’ for me to ‘interview’ their technical consultant, Hugh Frost, about their products. Channelling Richard Branson, I even negotiated a 15% discount for any of my ‘followers’ who purchased their products following our ‘broadcast’. The following Friday, Hugh Frost, joined me live. They call this process ‘sharing the screen’, with Hugh appearing in the bottom half and me in the top half, channeling Michael Parkinson like there’s no tomorrow.

Now the bit was really between my teeth!  I needed MORE guests.

A few weeks earlier, worrying about the gathering momentum of COVID-19, I found myself wide awake at silly o’clock, sat in the garden recording the dawn chorus on my phone. As one does, I shared an excerpt of our chirruping feathered friends on Twitter (where else?). Amongst those who responded to my birdy tweet were world renowned and Chelsea flower show garden designers Jo Thompson and Ann-Marie Powell (yes, really!). We exchanged tweets like we were long lost friends, with Jo recommending an app that records birdsong and tells you which birds you are listening to. It’s great. It’s called ChirpOMatic, should you ever find yourself wondering what exactly is warbling in the woods.

Two weeks later, the cogs in my brain working overtime, I sent a late night Instagram message to my new ‘friend’ Jo asking if she might consider being my guest one Friday morning. Immediately embarrassed at my late night delusions, I threw the phone under the bed in disgust. How ridiculous! Cleverly though, I hadn’t told anybody that I had contacted her. Then, two whole days later my phone pinged the arrival of her response. ‘Yes, Mr ChirpOMatic’ she joked, ‘I’d love to.’

So, week ten had me chatting away with my new BFF, Jo Thompson. It was great fun, and provoked a huge response from the little community of gardeners who tune in to watch me each week.

My first ‘chat’ with world renowned garden designer, Jo Thompson

Was it too soon to contact Alan Titchmarsh, Monty Don or Carol Klein? Yes, of course it was. But I wasn’t going to be put off, not now. A message was swooshed off to my other garden designer ‘buddy’, Ann-Marie Powell, who has also used lockdown to go live on Instagram EVERY SINGLE day, for half an hour to chat about all things gardening. Her Insta-Live, ‘My Real Garden’ and has proven to be EXTREMELY popular.

Again, a couple of days before another ‘yes’ response. It felt like a dream. Why had these lovely garden designers agreed to chat with me? I’m A COMPLETE unknown and more to the point, clearly not Graham Norton, or indeed Jonathan Ross.

Overflowing with confidence following my Jo Thompson chat, my interview with Ann-Marie couldn’t have gone any better. Ann-Marie had agreed to about thirty minutes. Twenty five minutes flashed past, so I began to wind down our chat, like a reluctant kid being dragged away prematurely from a birthday party.

‘I’m conscious time is running away’ I interjected.

‘No! I’m enjoying it. Let’s carry on’! Ann-Marie beamed.

Laughing through lockdown with Ann-Marie Powell

And so the chatting continues.

To date, in addition to Jo Thompson and Ann-Marie Powell, I have spoken to royal and celebrity florist, Simon Lycett, Gardeners’ World ‘swoon’ sensation, chicken keeper and author, Arthur Parkinson, RHS judge, author and one time editor of ‘The English Garden’ magazine, Tamsin Westhorpe, blogger and author, Laetitia Maklouf, Instagram vegetable growing sensation Lucy Hutchings and still more in the pipeline.

Author, RHS judge and gardener, Tamsin Westhorpe
Chatting to Arthur Parkinson on the hottest day of the year
Royal and celebrity florist Simon Lycett
Discussing rhubarb pie with Laetitia Maklouf
Instagram edible grower sensation Lucy Hutchings

COVID-19 has reminded me and I’m sure all of us that life is truly precious; we only come this way once. Don’t put of til tomorrow what can be done today! I’m so, so glad I pressed that ‘LIVE’ button on 27 March.

To see my chats click the names highlighted above. Or click here.

Author: Mike the Gardener

Freelance gardening writer, consultant and designer. Mike Palmer is a passionate and professional plantsman, offering services in garden writing, consultancy and garden design. Mike is also available for garden and plant related talks and presentations. Mike has been a professional horticulturalist for over fifteen years.

2 thoughts on “Chatty Man”

  1. Definitely a highlight of lockdown Mike. Our lockdown routine here developed early. Friday morning started with the ‘oldies’ shopping run, me to Tesco and Jeff to M&S. Then to the butchers with me sitting anxiously in the car thinking about getting home and unpacked by 10.30, phone in hand in case we didn’t.
    Home and unpack then me to the dining room where croissant and coffee were delivered by my resident chef. I devoured them whilst making frequent typos. It was a messy affair with jam and crumbs and I often thought Oh my god, if they could see me! Horror!
    I’ve watched your garden in total awe since it emerged from the mud and rubble on GardenTags so seeing it in such detail in lockdown has been a joy.
    I loved the chats, if I couldn’t catch them in real time I watched later and I’ve found new experts and ordinary like minded gardeners to follow and engage with.
    So – Diolch o’r galon am yr hŵyl a’r gwybodaeth arddio!
    Thanks from the heart for the fun and the gardening knowledge!

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    1. Thanks so much Val. How lovely of you to take the time to write. Obviously, this has been a very difficult time for all of us, without exception, but, I have so enjoyed doing what I’ve been doing over the last few months. And more importantly, it’s just fabulous that other people have enjoyed it too. Hope you had a great birthday. Mike x

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